A/B

Random scene snippet. I dunno.

A: I tried to kill myself this morning.

B: But you had cake for breakfast!

(Beat)

A: I'm not...I'm not sure how that's relevant.

B: It was chocolate.

A: I mean, I'm talking about attempted suicide here.

B: It had buttercream icing.

A: Are we even having the same conversation? What is it you hear coming out of my mouth?

B: I baked for hours.

A: It's just...it all seemed so pointless.

B: Prick.

A: What?

B: Prick.

A: I don't even know what you're talking about anymore.

B: We're talking about my cake, asshole. It wasn't pointless. I put a lot of effort into that cake.

A: Umm...sorry?

B: Don't be sorry. You're my friend and I baked you a cake.

A: Well. Thanks.

B: Oh, don't thank me. You probably didn't even taste it.

A: No, it was good.

B: You're just saying that. You were like "Time to slash my wrists now." and you didn't even care. How am I supposed to deal with this cake when you're gone?

A: You could eat it, I guess.

B: I'm diabetic.

A: Oh. Right.

B: Prick.

A: ...sorry.

B: You should be. Fucking selfish.

A: I could eat some more now.

B: some of what?

A: Your...delicious friend-cake, friend.

B: Oh, no. It's all gone.

A: Where did it go?

B: Away.

A: Oh. See, because sugar's good for blood loss.

B: Asshole.

A: What?

B: So if I lose blood I'm just sort of SOL huh.

A: Oh, right. Your diabetes.

B: Yeah. My diabetes.

A: My wrists hurt.

B: My heart hurts.

A: I really did like your cake.

B: I know. I'm just giving you a hard time.

A: I'm still really sad.

B: Eat some chocolate.

A: I actually don't like chocolate all that much.

B: Prick.

(End)